Divorce support groups in South Africa: how to choose
Updated · By the After Divorce volunteers
Short answer
South Africa has four main kinds of divorce support: church-run courses such as DivorceCare, counselling services such as FAMSA and SADAG support groups, online groups on Facebook and WhatsApp, and activity-based meetups such as After Divorce. Courses suit people who want structure, counselling suits people who are struggling to function, and meetups suit people who mainly need company and something to do.
What kinds of divorce support groups are there?
There are four broad types, and they do different jobs.
- Church-run courses. DivorceCare is the best known. It is a video-based programme of about 13 weekly sessions, hosted by local churches in most big cities. Groups are usually mixed, and the content is Christian.
- Counselling organisations. FAMSA (Families South Africa) offers counselling for people going through separation and divorce. SADAG, the South African Depression and Anxiety Group, runs free support groups and helplines for people whose mood has taken a serious knock.
- Online groups. Facebook and WhatsApp have many South African divorce groups. They are active at all hours and good for practical questions, but the quality depends on who runs them.
- Activity-based meetups. Groups that meet to do something, like a walk, padel or a braai, with other divorced people. This is what After Divorce does.
Which type suits you?
Start with what you are short of.
- If you want to understand what happened and work through it step by step, a course gives you structure and an end date.
- If you are not sleeping, not eating or not coping at work, see your GP or a counsellor first. A social group is not enough on its own.
- If your main problem is the empty evenings and the quiet weekends, you need company and routine. That is what a meetup is for.
- If you have a practical question at 11pm, an online group will answer faster than anyone.
Many people use more than one. A course on a Tuesday and a walk on a Saturday do not compete.
Are there groups just for men, or just for women?
Women have more choice. There are several women-only groups online and a few in person.
Men have very little. Almost every in-person group is mixed, and a men-only group is rare outside one or two churches. That gap is the reason After Divorce runs a men-only evening and a women-only evening every week, alongside mixed socials.
How do you check a group before you go?
- Is the listing current? Many online listings are years old. Message the organiser and ask when the next meeting is.
- What does it cost? Courses often charge a small fee for a workbook. Be wary of anything that asks for more.
- Who runs it? A volunteer, a counsellor or a church. None is wrong, but you should know which.
- What is expected of you? Some groups ask you to share. Others let you sit quietly. Ask.